Life is but a dream ……

Why so gloomy ? The good (and lovely) Dr Neena asked me, while visiting her clinic this morning. Your red shirt supposed to cheer you up. Right doc. As if you know how I feel. Does it show that much. I’m smiling can’t you see. Well maybe you are right. I’m easily distracted you see. I hate imperfection. I am not a perfectionist. But when the plan (my plan, that is) is not working accordingly, I can’t help by not feeling this way, this murky thing that you see. By the way, thanks for asking.

Oh how I wish I could satisfy my current state of mental wanderlust, and my extreme fondness for "faraway places with strange-sounding names". The other day there’s a news on Naypydaw. I feel that I have to go there, one day, the sooner the better. Just to be there among the kings.

Now that it has become a common knowledge, let me jot something about my hometown, Sitiawan. It was the good old days when as a kampung boy I grew up with company of friends. Somehow, my dear dad put me in the SRK ACS rather than the school near by my house. Thus, I have two groups of good friends, viz. the town boys and girls during school and the kampung boys and girls after school.

At school, I was the best Malay student. I managed to get at least the top 5 in the whole form. I represented the school almost all the reading contests, plays and sketches, reciting the Quran, you name it. After school, I did all sort of things with my band of kampung colleagues i.e. fishing, playing police-sentry, lala (something like rounders with holes), guli, spinning top, rubber band games, self-made catapult, galah panjang, congkak, ad infinitum. I also joined the kompang group and made various performances during weddings.

With the chopper-type (with gear lever and all) bicycles my kampung friends and I did round ’satu kampung’. The best times were during the rambutan seasons. My house was surrounded by at least 13 different types of rambutan trees. There were sweet ones, sweet and ‘lekang’, slightly sour, etc. That’s why until now, I can’t stand to eat the rambutan bought from the fruit seller.

My dad was a headmaster in one of the school in Sitiawan. Everyday he brought me two story books, which I finished reading them at no time. In fact the whole collection of the 20 plus 20 volumes of the encyclopedia in my house were my companions day and night.

By age of ten, I practically knew all the names of the 52 states of the USA and their respective details (flags, capital cities, rivers, flowers, birds, places of interest, population, etc.), and have read the abridged version of all famous literary works like Wuthering Heights, Huckleberry Finn, les Miserable (except I pronounced Jean Valjean as ‘Jin Valjin’), etc.

Life then (with no Astro, no internet) was very interesting as the magazines such Time, Newsweek brought by my elder brothers as well as all the Dewan Bahasa, Dewan Sastera bought by my dad, were all accessible, and I read them all.

Then, there’s standard Five Assessment Test, and I managed to get good result. The next year like all other boys, I had my bersunat thingy at the kampung health centre. Later that year I was given a place at a boarding school in Ipoh, the big city.

Ameerul Ahwaz, the eleven year old boy who will never cease to give his best in whatever he does. He is tall with upright structure (5’). Really big feet (size 6) and palms. Fair skin and ‘city boy’ look (as opposed to the dad who is a kampung boy). Completely dressed down when at home, but strictly top notch and neat when at school. A school prefect since Std 3. Creative hands (can fix things) and can solve most of your PCs glitches. Good gamer. Excellent in general knowledge. Responsible for taking care of our pet cat (especially the pooh portion). Last month or so, I introduced him to cricket. Enrolled him to PJ Club (besides A&W, come and see him …. and me, on Wed, Fri and Sundays). Good for him. After a month from zero, he could now bowl with straight arm and eyes focus and batting at number 11.

Salam Sejahtera, di mana sahaja anda berada.

Tomorrow I’m celebrating the big one. The day of the beginning of life, at the cross road. I have to decide on my remaining days, and make firm commitment which path I should follow.

Looking back at the afteryears, I have done many many things. Some, I truly am proud of, some I do feel the regret. Some are exciting and adventurous. Some are inadvertently clichéd.

Someone dear to me once said that this life has to go on. Agreed. This very life has to go on. That is why I feel like celebrating life. Celebrate the opportunity given by the Almighty. Syukur, all the worthy praise only to Him.

Oh, how I’m longing for Mutheera, the sweet smelling breeze in

Paradise. How, with all my wrongdoings and my untold sins I wish for forgiveness from Him. How with all my disobediences, I could answer the calling of the dark-eyed damsels.

How I wish I could smell the sweet scented blend of citrus, pineapple and woody notes cool water not from the blue bottle, but from the skin itself.

p/s: I’m on leave tomorrow.

Welcome to the new week, new auspicious week. I have lots of tasks to do this week. The trick is to prioritize. Put first things first. That goes without saying, if you in the middle of writing a thick dissertation on some trivial issues which you actually can’t resort to exercise the antithesis i.e. the not-this-but-that or arguments, theories, evidence, deductions, hearsay, voir dire dan apa-apalah (apalah aku merepek ni).

Today I learnt one new word, it is equivocation.

Well recently, I was introduced with new words like phleg (indifferent, well to me it simply means and sounds like ‘pelik’), sanguine (how do pronounce this hah? confident) and choleric (my tongue already twisted now, means bad-tempered?). My humble kampung boy upbringing self, received a little shock with these ‘don’t know where to use’ words suddenly flooding my 3 lbs.

Ok enough rumbling, back to the word equivocation. It means figuratively lying but not really. Sounds phlegmatic? Not so. It like the act of liking your MIL and treat her same as your own mom, but honestly speaking … that’s a lie right. But that’s not really a lie? Or maybe, technically true in a way that’s meant to deceive à la sanguinely. Whatever it is, jangan jadi choleric sudah, life must be sober not somber and take things easy, and one at a time. Senyum sayang. I’m just ‘meraban’ here.

Then, there’s one movie called There’s Something About Mary. There’s the character Mary (played by lovely, and sexy Cameron Diaz) and the movie is about obsession of Mary by a creepy guy who is little bit awkward and very much of the shy type. Mary (or other personality similar to her) is indeed irresistible. And any shy guy will always in an awkward position. How the movie ends, you have to see it yourselves or become its own character, your choice.

As for this auspicious week, is for me to be merry about, for it is my birthday week.

I was reprimanded today, via not harsh but rather sweet lecture: “Don’t do things you wouldn’t want others do onto you.” I take it gentlemanly. I take it as a gift. I concur to that piece of advice. Yes the lecturer is right.

Nevertheless, if only this world live by that decree, then we don’t need resurrection in the Hereafter. People will do good and avoid blasphemy and live in abstinence. But then this very world that we live in has what Kikuyu tribe says “Gakiihotora niko koi uria kariina” which means, there is a reason for everything.

I for one, don’t have that reason not to do that or this. Sometimes we people, follow our hearts. Sometimes things that need not to be told, may proof to be better than telling the whole thing in the first place. I will take that advice and promise to make it a practice as the Tywa tribe says “Sögleen sös, kertken yjash” i.e. one should keep one’s promise.

Welcome, Ahlan wa Sahlan, Selamat Datang ! Today, I’m completely dressed down with my black (or is it dark maroon) button fly 501, and company issued T-shirt.

Weekends are for the wife, kids, cars, cat and my own. My favorite Saturday breakfast is the crunchy roti sardin at one of the Malay stall in Taman Datuk Harun. You should try the roti canai varieties. They are much better than Fawwaz at SS14 or any Gazebo outlets.

Anyway, honestly I try to cut down my food consumptions. With my 70 to 75 kg weight range, I don’t possess Salman Khan six packs. Having said that, nor do I have a pot belly of the normal Malaysian in their late 30s. Most probably I could run faster than you do. I could easily do the push up more than 10 times. And if you are a batsman facing my ferocious 130 kph yoker, better ensure that you wear proper and adequate protective gear especially the ‘box’, or else.

Yada yada yada. That’s what my dear wife would say, if she sees this post. With all what I highly think of myself wrt to my athletic being, I can’t never come close to her feats. In her primary school days she was the Tokoh Kanak2 Perak. When she was in SERATAS, her sports certificates filled up at least two ‘clear holder’ albums. The medals can load up the cabinets. And now as school hockey coach, from a non participating school, it’s already twice the school become runners-up at Petaling District level, within two years. How I wish this year she could again receive the Guru Cemerlang award (which is quite impossible as they said, it’s a lifetime achievement, not every year, you nitwit) like last year, where she blanja me a nice dinner at JM Briyani to celebrate the occasion.

Talking about another hockey personality, at national level, I’m the Number One Fan of the cutest Malaysia Women Hockey Player, playing forward striker, which happens to be my niece.

Ok Friday. I’ll enjoy the rest of the weekend. Same to you, wherever you are.

Warmest Salam.

Time, a fundamental structure of the universe, and by the look of it everything occurs in sequence. In the Holy Book, the Almighty said “By the time (afternoon). The human being is utterly lost. Except those who believe and lead a righteous life, and exhort one another to uphold the truth, and exhort one another to be steadfast.”

It seems that there is a time for everything. There a time to give birth, and a time to die. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to search, and a time to give up as lost. A time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate.

Time and space, the two special ingredients to describe that most of what you know is only in relative to the other.

Time flies. It’s like if you being with someone that excites you, an hour feels like a minute.

Time drags. If that person is not there … where in the world is my friend.

Some events are destined to occur though down deeply we don’t want them to happen. Knowing someone, is a pleasant thing. Departing from that person will leave you perplexed.

How I wish I could run away, ahead of time. So that I won’t be agonise by the grief of losing something that never even started.