Life is but a dream ……

Yesterday I was flocking together with my old school colleagues; Bill, HK, DocK (Doc K) and Holme (Hold Me) at HK’s MIL house. The topic of discussions is wide and varies. Like where in the world is ACon. Last heard in the Saudi. Perhaps marrying an Arab ? How’s DocK justifying us on why should we join him for golf. We however, are satisfied with our night golf’s. And the last get together event at Teluk Batik where we realised that the big Joe Baboon, now (after 23 years) is the same size like the rest of us. He simply comes to age much earlier.

But the current topic is of course the e-filing thing. The LHDN penyata cukai taksiran. HK said that he tried so hard, but the red warning still appears in the screen. Bill whom working in a telco company, a bit advanced, mentioned about his doings for his wife’s. Holme seems in that category. DocK, he’s the business people, he need not to worry until come June or July. What about myself, ‘Guys, I have no problem at all with regard to this e-filing thingy. It’s damn easy. I don’t have to worry about anything. I let my wife do it for me.’

Right, my wife has settled my income tax statement since, well since long time ago. She in fact does it for her friends and some of her friends’ spouse.

So, if you have problems in declaring the tax e-filing, digi certs or what not, you know who to call.

Y(-6): In a letter written by my dear dad, ‘Son, your mom and I have met a fair and lovely girl who could be our future DIL. By the way, your dear Opah like her very much as her father was the god-son of your late great grandfather.’

Y(-5): A really short letter to my ex-gurl, ‘Dearest, I guess this is it. The time has come. My life is no longer in my own will. Maybe, this whole thing (read: this whole 7 years thing) has a hidden hikmah that none of us understand. I’m really sorry.’

Y(-5) a week later: An even shorter reply from her, ‘How I sometimes wanted to be like the kids in my classroom. They don’t know what hurt means.’

Y(-4): A short note from my advisor: ‘Please see me immediately, we’ll discuss on your below than expected performance in your last 2 terms results.’

Y(-3): After 3 months of doing practically nothing in my house, my dear dad said, ‘Son, I don’t really want to force you on anything (rightly said dad), but at least read the newspaper or look for some job vacancies.’

Y(-2): One fine morning at Aisyah College: ‘ Assalamualaikum, I’m the great grandson of Tok Guru, your dad’s god-father.’ My heart whispered, ‘Eh, not bad …. Not bad at all.’

Y1: ‘Aku terima nikahnya ….’ Right at the first time.

Y1 a week later, on the phone with my mom, complaining: ‘Mak, dia goreng ikan kembung, potong empat keping.’ My mom eventually consoled me and asked me to be patient. ‘Nanti dia pandai la.’

Y1 ten months later: Ameerul Ahwaz was born in Ampang Putri. I was there giving azan to the 2.54 kg tiny little baby. Welcome to this world my son.

Y2 in December: My adorable kakak princess Ahlam Awateef was born in Shah Alam. I now have a pair.

Y4: One fine day in my kampung I overheard my mom said to my MIL: ‘Frankly I don’t know how to cook anymore. My son only likes his wife’s cooking.’

Y5: We bought a little terrace house and moved to Sunway.

Y6 in July: The arrival of my clone, the handsome & big guy Waseem Akram.

Y7 in December: The sweetest princess, the fair & lovely Ayra Umayrah was born. Now I have 2 pairs.

Y8, Y9, Y10, Y11: Day and night, I was there to see my children grow. I hugged them everyday, they kissed me everyday.

Y12 onwards: What is greater than the love that given to us by the Almighty. The precious of all is that I have the time to fulfil that love and was there to see them grow. My eldest son once mentioned about his good friend whose father was a political figure and have this and that. I said to him, ‘Son, I’m here with you practically everyday. I’m here to answer all your queries on sports cars, the EPL, and even teach you how to slog a cricket ball.’ And I’m about to add, ‘ Your good friend also has few step mothers.’ But finally decided not to.

Years gone by. I like.

Birds. Interesting creature. Humans could learn a thing or two from them. The birds are usually monogamous (Guys, learn this from the birds, don’t you get fascinated by the chicks) and most of the time, they pair for life.

I always captivated by the mechanics of bird flight. In Aerodynamics 101 class in GU, I was introduced to some fundamental terms like Lift, Thrust, Drag,  Wing, Aerofoil, Air Flow, Glide, Angle of Attack, Vortices, Aspect Ratio etc. All these are because of the feathers. And you know what, birds are classified by among others …. feathers.

I’m looking forward to this weekend. To flock amongst the people having the same feathers like me. On Saturday nite, the SOCC club members (mostly ex-boys, err men, from various boarding schools) will lepak the whole nite long at our captain huge Putra Heights corner lot house. The occasion: Final Cricket Match à Australia vs Sri Lanka, live from Kensington Oval, Barbados in the West Indies. There’ll be BBQ and pot-luck treats. I’m bringing my dear wife’s special nasi briyani.

Aruba Jamaica ooh I wanna take ya
Bermuda Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo Montego baby why don’t we go
Ooh I wanna you down to Cocomo
We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow

On Sunday at about 11 am or so, our ex-Head Boy Mr Heriwan Kenobi is hosting a Marhaban cum birthday party / kenduri for his daughters at his MIL house. Well, I guess, it’s good to have a loving MIL after all.

I love women. I have high respect on them. I put them high on the pedestal. Firstly my dear mom, my dear wife, my ‘little women’ a.k.a. my two princesses, my sisters, and other women (especially those lovely ones) that lalu lalang & sudi datang bertamu in my life.

Eh, what about my mother-in-law (MIL) ? As I mentioned previously, I can never love my MIL same like my mother. No way Jose. However, dear Jose, please make sure that your team tibai cukup-cukup the Reds in the Champions League semi-final tonite.

I said this before and I know someone begged to differ from this. For that someone, imagine this. 20 years from now, your son got married. One day he said to you, Mommy you know what, I love you as much as I love my Mama (his MIL). What say you? Definitely this is not acceptable. For a son, his mother is everything (almost) to him. My paradise is under my mom’s feet. However, if you are a woman, then your paradise is solely with your husband’s pleasure, provided he is man of faith. It’s like a Mexican stand-off (in a positive manner).

For a man: My paradise à my mom’s

For a woman: Your paradise à your husband’s pleasure

Therefore: Your son’s paradise à you à your husband à his mom

I don’t see any MIL connection in the picture here. Not directly, at least. Your Honour, I rest my case. If you want to put further argument, come to my private chamber.

Back to the WOMEN topic of the day, in my previous life (before married, not previous incarnation or in the other parallel universe), the women folks (the ladies) really cherished my life. To them, I would like to say just as Julio said:

To all the girls who shared my life
Who now are someone else’s wives
I’m glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I’ve loved before

To my dear wife let me say this as the late John Lennon said in his ode to his woman:

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside of the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don’t keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars

Thirty years gone, I’m still watching (not Aswad’s ‘washing’) 60’s tv. Nah, seriously the terrestrial tv stations nowadays have lost it. Credibility that is.

TV3 especially has been the tools of trade to propagate the current half past six political devious propaganda. As if the whole editorial group of the news doesn’t have brain of their own. Just pleasing with an a%$-licking attitude toward their grand master the kerbau jantan (KJ).

TV1 is hopeless. No matter how much the advancement in media technology, this channel will teleport you to the land of the psychedelic. The montage, the jingles, even the dress and hairdo of the presenters is nauseating.

I always believe that if a tv station want to make it, there should be an anchorperson. Those days when Wan Zaleha or Aziz Desa were the head honchos, really made the difference.

I’m washing, I’m washing ……..

‘If you could do it, we could do it equally worst.’

Apalah hai. Stupid the Blues. Patut hangpa stick to your previous name i.e. the Pensioners. Pegi pencen lagi baik. ManU dah kasi seri kat Old Trafford and the gap could be just 1 point, hangpa pulak nak jugak seri dengan the Magpies kat St James’ Park. Hangpa pi letak 4 striker pun tak leh nak masuk gol. Si mamat Joe Cole tak cool lansung. Huluq kaki pun tak reti. Memang kodi.

Nasib baik Perak doing ok in the Malaysia Cup. Kalau tak aku tengok AF je la dan sokong si Bean. Apahal pun Heliza, keep it up gurl, anda berada di liga yang berlainan. Berehh !!

I’m certainly not going to write on Financial Year 2007 (FY07) though now most of the employees in companies throughout the world, eagerly waiting for the positive outcome of the audit reports, and hence hefty bonuses.

FY07 simply means it has been 12 years since I got married to a wonderful lady. It seems so quick, yet when I see my ever growing kids, I knew that 12 years is quite a period. I don’t feel a single day that my lovely wife and I been together too long. It’s not like the Pina Colada Song. I’m more into Bryan Adams’ ‘To Really Love A Woman’ stuffs. Give the wife some faith. Hold her tight, treat her right ….

She’ll be there for you, take good care of you.

According to Hadrat Ali ibn Abi Talib (r.a), "He who is the most happy is he to whom God has given a good wife."  Syukur to Almighty I have a good wife. Good and beautiful wife. Good, beautiful and intelligent wife. Good, beautiful, intelligent and and mother of four beautiful children.

I have nothing else to ask, for I have everything in this mortal world. I have no one else to seek as I have met my destined companion. I seek refuge from any calamities from Almighty. May my dear wife and me be together until the last of our breath.

p/s: It was her 35th birthday yesterday. Firstly I tempted her with the whole of me (right ….). In the afternoon, away from our ever inquisitive kids, I treat her to a really posh restaurant in Sunway. This month end, will be our 12th anniversary. According to the wikipedia reference on anniversary it is a ’silk’ year. Then silk it is.

Beribu kata jutaan angan ku
Menyelusup sanubari
Menghimbau hati pedihnya rasa
Bagaikan tersayat sembilu

Tiada pernah ku merasakan
Cinta murni yang sejati
Kurindukan kasih sayang abadi
Yang sungguh suci dan murni

Best for breakfast, especially if you are longing for kuih sagu, but don’t have the expertise to handle neither the  santan nor the gula melaka.

This recipe sounds excotic, and could be savoured as delicate hor d’ oeuvres, but it is quite simple, really. It’s kinda cool, and it’s not making too much statement.

Served with Gardenia bread toast & Nescafe tarik, or a cup of Ahmad Tea any blend.

Eat alone.

·        6 Agaricus Bisporus (cendawan butang)

·        2 egg whites

·        Cream cracker (biskut empat segi) crumbs. Crush them with your bare hand. Feel it. Feel it.

·        2 tablespoon butter

·        Garam secukup rasa

Thinly slice the agaricus.  Dip them in the white egg. Coat them with the biscuit crumbs. Sauté the agaricus in a sauté pan until golden brown.

For more fun, try singing some oldie songs. Don’t care whether your pitching lari or your voice sounds flat. My favourites are Black Dog Bone’s Diganggu Kenangan and Rolling Stones’ Paint It Black.

It’s kind of trepidation, knowing that I sometimes would like to make myself ‘lost’ in solitude and seclusion, far and away from the madding crowd, faraway from everyone.

Though, sometimes we do get ourselves lost in the busiest street in the busiest city.

Anyway below are some of the places I’ve been, where I had myself ‘lost’ for a while.

Tiruchchendur, Southern India. There’s abundance of sea coconut trees by the beach. The sea coconut is much (very much) tastier when eaten raw, unlike the preserved version. The beautiful beach is empty. The sands  (or was it the pebbles) are multi coloured. It’s where the three great seas viz. the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean and the Bay of Bengal meet.

Goteborg, Vastergotland. I love the bread and the Gotland goat cheese. The tram and the Avenyn.

Kharbajaur, FATA near North West Frontier Province (where?). Ever seen snow capped mountain ranges? The hills, the barren land without vegetation. It was the major crossroad on the Silk Road. The tough but really nice Pashtuns people will greet you like brothers. There’s Kalashnikov AK-45 in most of their houses though.

Surabaya, East Java. The clash of the century between the Sura (Shark) and the Baya (Crocodile), and hence the name. I felt like coming home (mind you I’m not Javanese, my great grandparents were Achehnese) where almost everybody is from my own people, the people of Nusantara.

Sedona, Arizona. It hadn’t been raining for the last six, seven months, when I was there. The cactus were big, and not the type that you have in your flat. The seafood restaurants were cozy and served delicious dishes. Alligator tail fries anyone?

John O’Groat, Scotland. The northernmost tip of the British Isles. I was draped in tartan wool wrap (not pashmina) while watching the sunrise in summer. It was a bliss moment.

Lawas, Borneo. The dense tropical rain forest. You could feel the souls of the trees and the animals scrutinizing over you. Stopping by the roadsides and washing my face (taking the wudhu actually) from the free flowing mini waterfall. It’s refreshing, and enchanting.

A friend, let me name him Bill, called me yesterday. Opps, before that, mind you he’s not the Bill guy from Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill. He’s not magnifique in martial arts as David Carradine (remember the Shambhala Master?) who played Bill. Nevertheless I knew that he did joined the Taekwon-do (or was it Karate-do) and could ‘do’ legs split action, back then.

Anyway, Bill’s a guy with  interesting characters. His grasp on the Queen’s language is par excellence, his flairs on drawing are enticing. In the good old days, he illustrated the portrait of my really (yes, really) sweet pet-sister (may she marry a rich guy and have lots of healthy kids) on my favourite pillow, while I wrote some out-of-this-world couplets on the same pillow for nightly recital before dozing off.

The word ‘interesting’ in Malay is menarik. Or MeNARik, or simply MNAR. My friend Bill Mnar, said that he just read my blog recently. Glad to know finally, there are people out there who read my ‘meraban’ entries.

Quid pro quo. I heard some idiot president somewhere use this Latin phrase when referring to an issue of some strayed marines in some mideast country somewhere. And yesterday, that mideast country president released those poor marines as a ‘gift’ from his proud nation, and not because of quid pro quo, or a favour for another favour, or what for what, or tit for tat (somehow, I’m kinda fond of the tit thingy).

Life, I think is generally on quid pro quo basis. Mana ada (where got) you do something because of nothing. At the very least that ‘nothing’ is for the pure intention, that is only to seek the pleasure of the Almighty.

What about love? You know, the four letter word LOVE. Does it subject to quid pro quo? Lagi …. mana tak ada. However, if you think otherwise, tell me about it.

Ok, back to my friend Bill Mnar, my acquaintances with him went back to more than a quarter century. Yes we are that old. I recall that he had a close friend (who also my friend) who had an overgrown hairy feature. Just imagine, while some of us boys who were about 13 or 14 years old that time, who waiting and wanting for wet dreams or the like of it to happen, Bill’s friend could easily had his leg’s hair equally parted.

Ahh, you’re not even smiling. You don’t understand do you, I would have guessed. Then maybe, you also want me to give something in order to get you to smile. Quid pro quo.

Cheers!

"Tra-la-la. La-la-la-la. One banana, two banana, three banana, four. Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more. Over hill and highway, the banana buddies go. Coming on to bring you the Banana Splits show …." I bet none of you know about this tv show.

"The earth’s a Big Blue Marble when you see it from out there. The sun and moon declare our beauty’s very rare …. Our friendships they can place while looking at the face of the Big Blue Marble in space."

You know, the idea of having a long distant, pen pal in faraway land (Vancouver, B.C.), and writing to her always is annoyingly pleasant. Back then, I didn’t know it could be so very addictive, when the present-day ‘pen pal’ could now be online.

Then obviously, there’s ‘Ultraman’ the Hayata incarnation’s version – zapping everyone out of my way, ‘Combat!’ in black and white (remember how cool Lt Hanley’s M1 carbine was),

‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ – where suddenly movements were in slow motion, and Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling’s chilling narration “The place is here. The time is now. And the journey into the shadows ….” In betweens, there’s Little House (on the Prairie), The Avengers reruns (emm …. Mrs Peel), Dirk Turpin (swashbuckling highwayman) and my melancholic favourite anime ‘From Apennine to Andes’.

Life was simple then.