Life is but a dream ……

I was with some acedemicians from a prominent university the other day. Their subject of interests … International Relations.

I’m in the opinion (though not academic) that a good relationship (international or domestic) starts after a conflict. After every conflict, the resolutions will have to be done. However, conflicts both providing challenges and yeap … opportunities.

Conflict resolutions could bring stability and peace. Failing to resolve them, will result in violence and yeap … wars.

Whatever it is, resolutions need to be strategic and on win-win basis (tak boleh untung sebelah pihak je), taking account of realities and practicable remedies.

Enough said. Let make peace.

Sekolah Tuanku Abdul Rahman celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. 50 proud years of remarkable achievements and accomplishments.

Our batch Staroba84 managed to come with style. Out of the total of 106 or so, about 30 odd-plus came back to the school. Really, we don’t really care about what’s going on. What’s important, we stick to ourselves. First, we had a great lunch at Tasik Raban Restaurant near the Perak Stadium. Then back to the school for registration and photo shoot-out.

Then onto Taman Cherry for a round of futsal. It’s Northern Region versus the Rest of the World. Yours truly being a ‘kaki bangku’ managed to kick few times, and a couple on target kicks.

Miecon put the rest of so call ex-school footballers or ex-takraw-railing stars to shame by shooting a goal (not without scraping his forehead though).

The grand dinner that night was fantastic, well it’s more than that really. Our batch took 3 full tables out of hundreds of tables occupied by high spirited Starobas.

I met some of old friends who last met were 23 odd-years ago. There’s a junior who don’t want to let loose of my hand except if I say his name which I totally forget. “Azlie, yes that’s your name. But I remembered you as a cute little down to earth guy always with serban on your head, unlike your shoulder length hairdo, collar-up stylish shirt like now.”

Then there’s another one. “Eh Atok, is that really you?” I was looking with awe at a senior who’s dressing just like our respectable Tablighi Jamaat brothers, when he was the ultimate Jimi Hendrix of STAR Ipoh.

Then a friend called Isma (a.k.a. Lalat) said something embarrassing to me. “Bro, last time I remembered you with really curly hair, but now with short hair and all, looks more … maybe like Brad Pitt.”

Anyway … Brad or not during the dinner, few of our former teachers were called up to the stage to honour them. OMG, there’s Ms Venny as well.

I saw my 5S classmate, who’s Ms Venny’s our form teacher,  Aweet (famous for his role in TV3s ‘Mencari Cinta’) was excited. Seeing that I’m equally thrilled, said without dilly-dallying, “Let’s go and meet Venny. I’ve waited 20 odd-years for this.”

“Ms Venny, we’re your students in 5S nineteen eighty four. You, look so, er, as beautiful as what we could remember.”

“My dear students look how handsome you turn out to be, come and give your teacher a hug.” Wow! I saw Aweet transformed from the Headboy to Head‘boya’.

“You too,” said Ms Venny to Brad Pitt.

Well, that really sums up our OBW. Well there are others like Miecon brought his famous home-made cookies and kek-kukus, where we ate bare chested in the hostels corridor. He said afterwards, that was his Open House for this year. Then, we really got agitated at Nik’s new RM800k Porsche which he drove with ease at 260 km/h at the highway.

Glad to see all of you: Aji, Arip, Ajay, Doc Kapitan, Haja, Kamcheng, Miecon, Nik, Aweet, Azam, Jinoh, Shukoq, Shopit, Lan L, Poja, Bear, Husaini, Shahrul, Lalat, Usop, Mamak, Shah, Eder, Fir, Pak Din, Midi, Boss, Mus, Juan, Anjang, Pacak, Yus dll.

Sama sama menjejak mimpi

Sama sama mencari dan menanti

Segalanya direstui cinta sejati

Sama sama gunung didaki

Sama sama turun ke lembah sepi

Suka duka bersama dirasai

Mulanya di sini

Ku kenali dirimu

Sehingga kini

Sehingga ke akhir waktu

An open question to all. What is time to you?

You know … time, measured in hours, minutes, seconds (in my business even milliseconds count). Do we appreciate time? What about punctuality?

I don’t know why most of us have this easy-going attitude towards time. Even in the Holy Scripture, time is an essence. If a particular meeting starts at 10.00 am, then it should start at 10 o’clock sharp.

Syukur to the Almighty, our angkasawan and national hero Dr Sheikh already safely landed, though due some computer glitch caused the landing capsule end up about 210 miles west of the designated site near Arkalyk, Kazakhstan. If you have seen any documentaries which depict the NASA mission control centre, someone (nerd looking rocket scientist) will have a stopwatch in his hand.

The reason is to calculate exactly in seconds the re-entry time so that it will travel on an elliptical Hohmann orbit to a point where it will be low enough in the atmosphere to re-enter. If for example the module is coming down too fast it will crash and burn to ashes. Burn is not really the right word, incinerate is more appropriate. If it’s too slow then it will miss the designated trajectory and will castaway to the outer space.

Let us from now onwards make a giant leap and be punctual. Don’t just conform to the inept norms. Be punctual, be true to the time, and true to our words.

Carpe diem. Seize the day and the time. Make our lives extraordinary. Let us do the re-entry.

The last time I checked with the weighing machine after the fasting month, I have shed a few kilos. From 72kg to 66kg. And my BMI now is 23.66, amazing.

Nevertheless, with the coming Open Houses this few weeks, the loss will be equalised fast.

I could sometimes, be quite melodramatic. A simple example would be, sniveling over the Petronas adverts. How pathetic could that be.

More to that, I also (previously) attributed wonderful songs to the current vista I was in.  Let me share some of the songs of my yesteryears.

Kalau Ku Bayangkan (J Mizan): The year was 1974. I was too small. I heard this song during  a seemingly endless open-air bus journey from Bagan Serai to my hometown Sitiawan. “Kalau ku bayangkan dirimu jauh dari ku …”

Ku Cari Penawar Luka (Black Dog Bones): Maybe in 1978. I could still sing this song, especially while sautéing Agaricus Bisporus (cendawan butang) alone in the kitchen. “Bila aku pergi menjauh, menghilangkan diri darimu …”

Selamat Pagi Sayang (Noor Kumalasari): 1980. I woke up to this song on one fine cool morning in the Sick Bay at STAR. “… engkau datang membawa, sekuntum mawar merah, pagi menjadi indah …”

Nilai Cinta Mu (Sudirman): I was sneak-peeking my own identity in the early teens. The year was 1981. This song got nothing to do with that. “Pernah dulu kufikirkan, tanpa cinta tak mengapa, bila kau pergi kurasakan, sunyinya dihati …”

Akukah Terlewat (Royston Sta Maria): Me … in my adolescencies. Year 1982. Donno why the lyrics moved me, a lot. “Akukah terlewat, atau mungkin waktu yang tercepat …”

Lagu Dari Kamar (Noor Kumalasari): The earliest song dedicated to me by a friend. Yeap, those days, we did that. Maybe she wrote it in her room (dorm). Circa 1983. Started to sing it. Welcome to my life. I have lots of secrets to share, dreams to reveal and stories to tell. “Sepi mengajakku, renungi lembaranmu, kuulang membaca, surat bermakna …”

Careless Whispers (Wham!): I loved this song. Nope, I’m nuts over it. It’s 1985 AD. Someone asked me to empathize the lyrics, but I could care less. What’s she implying? I was naïved about the complexity of woman’s heart (and for the record, still am). “To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind, there’s no comfort in the truth, pain is all you’ll find …”

Akulah Kekasih Mu (Francessca): I was in SEMESTI. Year 1986. It got nothing to do whatsoever with anybody, except that I was full of glam as the Headboy. “Di pertemuan semusim yang lalu, harumnya suasana …”

Doa Buat Kekasih (Ramli Sarip & Khatijah Ibrahim): Still in 1986.This song, OMG, this very song. “Yang dulu usah dirindu, hilangkanlah dari hatimu …”

Kehebatan Cinta (Francessca & Jamal): Nineteen eighty seven. Love’s great, but won’t normally stay. Funny though, even now when I’m alone, if I heard this song, I would stop the car and would sing along. With a company, I’d lip-sync. “Hatiku masih seperti dulu, tidak pernah pun berubah cintanya …”

Pelangi Petang  (Sudirman): Still in 1987. This was about a cute pet-sis named Rose (where in the world is she now?). She scribbled the para “Engkau tiba bagaikan pelangi, tak bercahaya namun kau berseri …” in a really nice pink card. I became her rainbow (which I could care less), and she became my rose.

Bila Rindu Kusebut Namamu (Siti Fairuz): Summer hols 1988 in Glasgow. I was like bored-like-hell, because had to stay put while most of my friends have gone to Europe. “Bila ku resah ingin rasa ku bertemu, aku jadi tak menentu …”

Foolish Beat (Debbie Gibson): Cold. Lonesome. One dark forlorn Autumn. Year 1988. Cycling via the cycleway to Loch Lomond. Missed you. “I could never cry again like I did when I left you, and when we said goodbye …”

Srikandi Cinta Ku (Bloodshed): Still in 1988. Imagine an endless mid-Winter night. “Terciptalah rimba kehidupan, percintaan dalam perjuangan …”

Sejati (Wings): Glasgow West End. Circa 1989. Those hundreds of letters, red cards in Feb, that cute beagle, after that rain. “Gagal segala impian, tinggal bertanya erti sejati …”

Sentuhan Kecundang (Ekamatra): Early 1990 AD. Gone, everything. No explanation to offer. “Kita telah mencuba segala, namun tewas akhirnya …”

Lovely Day (Bill Whithers): Think of a bright Sunday morning in Spring. The year was 1990. How I wish the lovely morning breeze could convey my warm wishes. “Just one look at you and I know it’s gonna be a lovely day …”

Losing My Religion (REM): Which I won’t, even I had to die. Early Summer 1991. Losing myself. Fallen apart. “What if all these fantasies, come flailing around …”

Asma ul Husna (anonymous): Summer 1991. The mosques were the only place.

Rush Rush (Paula Abdul): The Final Degree Exam Summer of ’91 was over. Tagging along with a friend and his old car trekking the beautiful castles, ruins, islands, highlands, glens, trossachs and lochs in one really pleasant Summer in Scotland. The lengthy daylight gave a little hope, if only I could ever again realise the meaning of longing, I’ll be rushing back. I’m dreaming, a wonderful mid-summer daydream. “You’re the whisper of a Summer breeze, you’re the kiss that puts my soul at ease …”

Kembalilah (Amy Mastura): Back to the tanahair and to the reality. And it bites. Year 1992. But this one made-in-the-UK drama swasta Melayu lingers me on. “Hanya engkau yang mengerti tentang aku, ku rasa hari-hari sepiku tanpa canda tawa bersamamu …”

Bukan Kemahuan Fikiran (Gee): The year was 1993. My heart was very much full of glee. I was in the southernmost tip of the Peninsula. Whatever happened here, bukan kemahuan fikiran. “Di perasaan tersimpan segalanya rahsia, dan tiada dapat ku tahankan rindu itu …”

That’s it. No more songs after that.

Dengan Ingatan Tulus Ikhlas

Maaf Zahir Batin

- yours truly -

p/s: Well, truly what I wanted to write in on the Night of Reward a.k.a Lailatul Jaizah. It’s the night preceding the day of Aidil Fitri. It’s the night that whoever stands up (in worship) should expect rewards from his Lord, his heart will not die when the other hearts will die.

Bedok South, yeap … still in the republic.

This morning after my regional marketing team wrapped up with Frost & Sullivan on Wireless Tech Summit this coming Nov, then with a tinge of surprise the F&S director announced that the Malaysia office (my company) just won the Frost & Sullivan’s prestigious Leadership award for 2006.

Immediately, the F&S director stood up and shook my hand and congratulates me (in the absence of my MD). Wow! Amazing. Are we looking at the future Movers & Shakers?

God willing.

sumuaan hudah kubarii

sama ai ati ni

nangpa da idak rasa kasian

aku karap batakun

sanang mahuhulut surah

amun diturut ati

arus malupai sumuaan

Orchard Road, in this tiny republic.

Did you feel it?

I did.

KLIA, to the Lion City again.

“Do not the Unbelievers see that the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of Creation), before We clove them asunder? We made from water every living thing. Will they not then believe?” [21:30]

“Houston, we have a problem.”

Nope, we are not going to hear that this time. Firstly, the launching pad is not in Houston but in Baikonur, Kazakhstan. Secondly, God Willing, everything will be alright.

First things first. Our angkasawan Dr Sheikh (with Dr Faiz as backup) could not be a more ideal candidate from Malaysia. Even without his credentials, his looks and smiles alone will melt the hearts of the extra-terrestrial beings. What’s more of us, the mere mortals.

I have to mention this, the first angkasawan from Malaysia must be a Muslim (its ok, for the 2^nd or the 3^rd one). The Holy Quran puts so much emphasize in the secrets of the heavens and the earth. The sky, the stars, the groups of stars, the formation of stars, the nature of atmosphere, the Big Bang theory etc. and etc. 

At 360km above planet Earth, there will be no less than 16 times of sunrise and sunsets for the angkasawan at the ISS. I remember while at 35,000 ft during the trans-continental flight, I’d flabbergasted to the fact that I could perform solah with the miracle of GPS latitudes and longitudes. What if the earth is under you or on top of you?

Anyway, I always cherish and give full support to this Angkasawan Programme. Unlike my fellow cricketer. Malaysia Boleh! Me too, an Aerospace Engineer from a 556-year-old University , if not because of something tragic happened during my 3^rd year, already employed at GEC Marconi and will have direct dealings with the satellites and space vehicles. Anyway, I always believe that there’s always hikmah in all that happens.

To Dr Sheikh (or Dr Faiz), keep those smiles. Please come back to Earth safely, instill the feeling of awe and inspiration of space travel to us in Malaysia.

p/s: the piece above is dedicated to a friend, who is much better than me in all aspects of life, even without him realising it, funny though, he’s with me all the way from Form 1 to Form 5, we’re in the same House, did some other things together, but somehow, we’re not cliqued, anyway, this is for you

" Not without purpose did We create heaven and earth and all between!"

(Surah Sad Ayat 26)

Coming to you live in few days.

The other side of me that people don’t know is I like to express myself in the form of writings. Nevertheless, due to real life circumstances, I’m unable to fully relinquish my heart’s desire. I remembered that in the Report Card during my schooldays, I put ‘journalist or novelist’ in the what-are-your-ambitions column (well, the other was professional cricketer), which my dear dad quickly disapproved.

‘Susah nak cari makan, kalau cuma menulis.’

Contrary to normal practice, I kept diaries. Diaries were my true companions. They never lie. They never say anything back to you. They were the historians. They were the one you write about your dreams and ambitions, your views, your pleasures or otherwise.

Anyway, back to the present, when life has becoming a bit settled and calmer (I hate surprises), I continue to write in this very blog. Not for others to read (tapi, kalu sudi baca la), but more of expressing myself, and decreasing life’s daily stress.

Anyway (dah berapa banyak kali anyway da …), I just wrote one article in the GLAM magazine October issue. There is minor editing though, which somehow made one or two sentences below my writing expectations.  An excerpt below:

" …Hati sekeras manapun pasti terusik bila mendengar lagu Dendang Perantau. Terutama kalau benar-benar anda di perantauan. Dan aku, biar macho mana sekalipun kurasakan diriku, air mata sebak pasti mengalir. Rinduku teramat dalam pada kampung halaman nun jauh puluh ribuan batu, pada ibu ayah tercinta dan sang kekasih (kini bekas) yang ditinggalkan. Tetapi hati ini harus cekal. Perjuangan ini harus diteruskan…"

Everyone tells lies. Yes, everyone. The difference is the magnitude of lies. Also the morality that we put along with it.  As humans, the act of lying is likely a natural and normal behavior. But the facts are clear, people lie to attain advantage or to escape loss.

We can console ourselves and renamed lies as White Lie, Tipu Sunat, Bluff, Perjury or anything. What if you lie to your loved ones (assuming you are telling the truth that you love that person)?

What is the morality to this?

Do you like to hurt people that you loved?

Do you, in the first place love that person?

If you do, why do you keep hurting them?

People have feelings too.

People like me have feelings too.

My heart is not strong enough to take a lot of pain,

because you lied to me.

Anyway, once a lie has been told, it may be discovered or remains undiscovered. Once discovered the liar will be discredited in his or her other statements. For the undiscovered lies the liar must tell new lies to keep earlier lies from discovery.

I’m still trying to comprehend this Art of Lying. I still don’t understand why. Why people lie to their loved ones. Maybe lies are told for the pleasure of lying.